Gravity and Grace

Two years ago I read Simone Weil's Gravity and Grace. I copied entire sections into my journal and wrote my own responses during a difficult time. Finding myself once again suspended in a white canvas of silence, I thought I might draw strength from my own journal entry.

"From the innermost depth of my being I need a sound that means something. I cry out, but there is nothing. I no longer have the courage to play. I need real words! I cry out for them. But all I get is silence! I talk, I ramble, I chatter, I mutter and mumble - hollow words, empty words. Words that mean nothing. Words that cannot touch my soul. I am desperate. I need only one word, only a few words; anything I can lay my hands on, any REAL words I can grasp and hold tight. Only a few REAL words to guide me. To direct me. To hold me secure.

Can I give my heart to silence?
To the silence of God?
Can I live suspended in this silence?
Can I live without my yes and amen?"

Below is the Simone Weil passage. Interspersed is the photography of Adi Nes, a brilliant Israeli photographer. This is from his series on biblical figures.

From the bloodthirsty Cain, to the vulnerable outcast Hagar, the portraits are deeply moving. My montage finishes with Samuel cradling Saul, who does indeed descend into madness.

See link below for more details on the artist and his work.

http://www.adines.com/content/wexner_center_for_the_arts_brochure.htm

Adi Nes - Cain and Abel

"The noises here below imitate this silence. They mean nothing.

Adi Nes - Abraham and Isaac

It is when from the innermost depths of our being we need a sound which does mean something - when we cry out for an answer - it is then that we touch the silence of God.

Adi Nes - Ruth and Naomi

As a rule our imagination puts words into the sounds in the same way as we idly play at making wreaths of smoke; but when we are too exhausted , when we no longer have the courage to play, then we must have real words. We cry out for them. The cry tears our very entrails.

Adi Nes - Hagar

All we get is silence.

Adi Nes - Samuel and Saul

After having gone through this, some begin to talk to themselves like madmen. Whatever they may do afterwards, we must have nothing but pity for them. The others, and they are not numerous, give their whole heart to silence."

Simone Weil