The wholesome fun of children and dogs. Doesn't it just bring a tear to your eye?
Soulfood Superstore.
All your spiritual needs at bargain basement prices. We guarantee it!
Your daily portion of Law and Order to keep you regular!
Today's special! Love, reduced to clear to 99 cents. For one day only, buy a box of Love and get a free box of Lust with a Baywatch fridge magnet thrown it. Now you can have your cake and eat it, too!
Grace. Hypo-allergenic, triple ply and lavender scented. Perfect for the rare occasion when Law and Order fails.
Happiness or Contentment - will be handed out to every shopper on the way out the store this morning.
Grab a bargain from the aisle of Selfs. Due to over-supply, we must clear our shelves of Self-confidence. Also going cheap - Self-reliance. Self- regard. And for one day only, we're giving away free boxes of slightly shop-soiled Self-discipline with every Self product sold.
Stock up on all your perishable virtues at our deli.
Our range has recently been expanded with exotics. We now offer Beauty, imported from Florence, marinated Greek Goodness, and Forgiveness fresh from the Palestinian foothills.
Of course, we continue to sell childhood favourites that have stood the test of time, like Reality. This old favourite, mixed with the off-cuts of Justice, makes Prudence, in easy serve portions at half the prize of Justice. If you do enjoy a serve of either Justice or Prudence, but find them hard to digest, we recommend a serve of Mercy.
Don't go through the hard work of exercising Temperance. Get your recommended intake of Temperance here today, in an easy to swallow capsule that will allow plenty of room for Gluttony.
Yes! For one day only, we have slipped in a delicious little vice amongst our virtues. Sold in brown paper bags, Gluttony will sell itself the moment you try it. For those who prefer their vices virtous, we offer you Affluence - all the pleasures of Gluttony, with the appearnances of a virtue.
Other virtuous vices may be found in the liquor department, Bacchanalian Bliss. We remind you to enjoy our virtuous vices in moderation. Today's Bacchanalian Bliss special - Buy one cup of Wrath and get a second absolutely free.
We wish our customers a salvific shopping experience at Soulfood Superstore.
